The Last of Their Kind

When I woke up this morning, I heard someone who sounded like Trump scream about how he thought I was the last of my kind. I kind of hoped that I wasn't. It didn't really make sense to me anyway, all things considered. I'm 55 years old with a graduate degree in International Environmental Policy and a elementary school teaching credential in bilingual education, and my only career objective was to save the rainforest. I've always been kind to others, an honest person and a law abiding citizen. So why would I be the "last of my kind?"

Apparently, Trump 2.2 and others believed in their own madness enough to the extent that they thought they were in the majority and would eventually win their fight. He kept screaming about how he had tried to insitute terrorist rule as a U.S. president, but no one would let him. It turns out that Trump, along with Biden, Obama and Clinton were mostly illiterate, spineless and evil.

These four presidents, along with the 600 "men" who requested my eggs (because they wanted the "good" ones) weren't really interested in remaining alive in 2016 when everyone got their federal clean-up notice (except for me). It turns out Trump and most of the rest were supposed to have "bowed out" with dignity and died a peaceful death, but it never happened. Instead, when Donald Rumsfeld went looking for Trump as his "bow out" partner, the would-be U.S. president hid in a single-wide trailer in a Sunnyvale, California mobile home park with 40-50 others and called it "fun."

The rest either refused or would never admit, but they included people like Kelly Slater, James Comey, Andrew McCabe and many, many others who presumably would have preferred a peaceful passing, rather than have spent the next nearly ten years tormenting me like terrorist idiots. It turns out most of the men suffered from their own insecurities revolving around a specific issue they never really resolved. For example, Kelly Slater has insecurities stemming from the fact that his penis isn't visible when wearing clothes, or a relatively small penis size. A 2,500 year old Egyptian male, Khafre decided his old teeth were the problem. James Comey's insecurities seem to stem from his own self-perception as someone who is too nerdy or goofy looking. The list goes on...

Instead, they all adopted the same attitude and decided to pretend pain and suffering was fun and cool. At Trump's first inaguration in 2017, he had half the military shot in the head. Trump was re-elected in 2024, but never even made it to the White House. They all refused to back down and ultimately invested in tree shredders they could happily throw themselves into and hope it was never really publicized. They didn't care about the fact that they were throwing themselves into tree shredders, they just didn't want anyone else to find out.

Rip's and Lee's cabins are among the places guests have been able to hang their hats at the Chief Joseph Ranch in Darby, Montana.

It turns out that Kevin Costner spent nearly five years filming his "Yellowstone" series in Montanta on a huge, sprawling ranch that might have used for Trump's stupid "fun game," instead of the single-wide trailer in their Sunnyvale mobile home park, but this never happened either. They would have had no publicity, lots of video cameras so they could film themselves and screw around doing whatever they wanted out in the middle of nowhere. Instead they spent a year and a half in a single wide, attempting to promote their own incestuous illiteracy campaign, and nearly nine years later, they're still complaining.

Perhaps I really am the last of my kind.